An Open Letter to H

Today, one year ago, you were born. It was a typical day that turned out to be anything but. My day was spent doing our regular Wednesday activities. Little did I know you would arrive that night under much duress. (For details, see H's story on the sidebar.)



I've been told by several medical professionals that I very well could have died that night. You were in that same danger, too. I actually didn't know how touch and go you were until just a few months ago. We are both so blessed to be here and I know God is going to do something mighty through both of us as you are a living testimony to His grace and mercy.




At 24 pounds no one would know you were a preemie. Having weighed only 5lbs, 12oz at birth, you have come a very long way. I remember the first time seeing you in your NICU bed, hooked up to umpteen monitors and tubes. You were on a special machine to assist your breathing (as it was very labored). It was May 3, almost 24 hours after you were born before I got to see you. Having worked in a hospital with children prior to becoming a mom, I was familiar with all the medical equipment. I will tell you, though, it's a completely different thing to see your child hooked up to all those wires and tubes. My first impression of you was that you were so tiny! K was 4lbs heavier than you at birth and L was 3 so you were itty bitty. The amazing thing is I didn't cry. I just smiled with the joy of a mother seeing her child for the very first time. This beautiful boy was mine.



I remember finally crying on Friday night about the entire situation. I was alone, attempting to get some much-needed rest, having just said good night to your father, when a flood of emotions took over and the tears were free-flowing. My heart told me to go to the NICU and check on you but my head told me I needed to rest while I could and the nurses would be taking very good care of you. Even though I couldn't hold you, I wanted to be near you. But the peace that had come over me in the midst of your birth took over me again. What a necessity it was that night.



You've brought countless smiles to my face, making many bad days melt away. You've brought me more tears than either of your sisters did in their first year. I love watching your personality blossom as you are just now beginning the transition from baby boy to little boy. I love watching you look for your sisters and try to get into their stuff. And I love the way you snuggle with me at the end of a long day drifting, slowly, into slumber.

Happy Birthday, Son!

In the NICU the day after you were born...

On your first birthday...